Marchagram

I'm more than a few days late posting my March Instagram photos, but that's OK, right?

The majority of them are pictures of Mayhem because what else is there to take pictures of anymore?

Februagram

  Here's a few pictures of things I did in February (in no particular order!) and filtered using the Instagram app "Brennan,"  it's sort of my favorite right now.  You can check out January here!  You can follow me @eatingcrowpie

Pee As In Patio

Ever since Chloe died, we've pretty much spent zero minutes in our backyard.  It needs some serious beautifying but we'll get to the outside after we finish the inside.  Which will probably be in a million zillion years.

Recently, our back patio called Patio Protective Services on us and filed a complaint stating, "neglect."

Really, Patio?  Was that really necessary?

Apparently so.

The past few days have been seasonably chilly, you see, and poor Patio has been getting......what's a nice way of putting this......

Ehh......just think about it.

That is so not nice, Nikki.  Not cool at all.

Bad dog!  You stop that right now, ya hear!

Clearly something has to be done before Boots and I get thrown in the pokie and they hide the key!

Enter the garden rake (I broke it) and the broom.  And maybe 20 minutes of action time and 1 portion of bothering Boots with my silly requests for moving the grills.  The nerve of that girl!

Nothing short of miraculous, am I right?

Pay no attention to my outdoor bathroom death zone.  Like I said, a zillion billion years.  And, also, don't come and steal my generator.  (It's not really mine!)

Cell Phone Photos

I had a deep conversation with Frank one night about how much he's enjoying pouncing around on this new floor.

Nikki said she likes the floor because its cooler in temperature than our old carpet was.

I fell in love all over again with the "Nordic Blue" paint in the extra bedroom after we temporarily moved our bed in there.

Boots and Uncle Roe finished putting up the rest of the cabinets.

Boots stained one drawer one time to see what I thought of the color.

Cookbook cabinet in the making!

Look at that countertop!  And that sink!!

I'm so dang excited!  My first meal is getting closer!

I Forgot Your Birthday......

So......

Last week was Eating Crow Pie's birthday (Yay! One year in operation!) and I missed it.

(I didn't do a "Happy Birthday Blog" post, haven't I violated some sort of bloggy rule?!)

In my defense, I had intentions, but when I got home I was greeted with an enormous poopy stinky pee mess that had to have my immediate attention.

Lemme tell ya, its not going to be a good night when you come home to poop, no it is not.

I suppose I was supposed to do a birthday celebration giveaway, but with the mood I was in after all that disaster cleaning it would have been was a Ziplock bag of poop shipped to you the next day.

You're welcome.

By way of forgetting to post, I also forgot to do my 100 Days of Marriage post.

Remember when I posted about my last 100 Single Days?

I accomplished #1 & 2, still working on #3 & 4, #5 is 1/2 complete I'd say, and of course, #6 is done.

You know, I do not miss that wedding planning at all, at all I tell you!

Since I'm laying it all out today, have you been remembering that I'm forgetting to finish my story of how I met Boots?

I've had you in suspense for Part 2 nearly three months now!

I'll get to it I promise.

Wouldn't it be cool if I posted that for V-day?

Yeah, that's what I'll do.

I, Rachel, curator of Eating Crow Pie, so avow to finish Part 2 of meeting Mr. Boots and post it on the fourteenth of February in honor of the love events of the day even though I do not adore the blessed commercialized love day!

(February- I cannot pronounce that word correc-it-ally.

Is it "Feb-ROO-ary" or "Feb-YOU-ary"?)

Here lately, I've been paying more attention to fashion in the world around me.

You can thank Kendi.

Hear I go, trying to be all fashion-y.

Shirt: Target $10

Pants: Target $24.99

I thought this was going to be a fashion win but it was a fashion fail.

I just felt frumpy.

Not as cute on me as it was in my head.

Oh, well......try, try again, right?

I know you're confused now.

You're probably all, "Why is she standing on the toilet?" or maybe, "Why is her counter so cluttered?" or "This is a fashion blog now?"

#1: there is no full length mirror in my house.

Yet.

There will be after Boots and I finish our bedroom; we're planning on mirrored closet doors.

Yay!

#2: I was in a hurry!

No time to clean since I had to sneak this picture without Boots seeing me and making fun of me.

#3: no.

I don't know what I am.

One day this is a comedy blog, the next day its a romantic story telling blog.

Then its a sad, gripey blog.

Some days it a cooking blog, a photography blog, and now I'm posting my clothes!

Its a hodge-podge blog--I'll write about anything!

Here's looking at you kid, Happy Birthday!

Dogtography

I had Nikki do a little posing on the end table for me.

She wasn't exactly willing, but being two feet off the ground she thought it best to stay put.

Why does she only look in one direction?

Is that her "good" side?

When I said, "Who's there?" that was the end of the photo session.

I haven't had much to write lately.
There's just not much too much happening.
I'm just working and doing wedding stuff and house stuff.
But by not writing I'm neglecting the purpose of the blog.
(Purpose? 
Oh, yeah! 
To keep people our family fah fah away informed of our happenings!)

We had a wedding shower the past two Saturdays and got lots of great presents.
Boots and I are going to have plenty of new things to use in our house.
We got nice, new, fluffy towels.
Shiny pots and brand new spoons!
Baskets, and decorations, and tools!
I'm dying to cook something with all my new wares but I haven't had the time yet.
Expect lots of cooking posts in October.

I've been writing 'thank you' notes until my eyes cross.
Don't you just love writing 'thank you' notes?
(I may be sarcastic about a lot of things but from the bottom of my heart I love writing 'thank you' notes.
I like paying bills too.
There's just some allure about writing checks, licking envelopes, and sticking stamps.
Maybe because it's only 'special' occasions that you get to do such.)

Boots and I finally decided on the flooring for the majority of the house!
Hallelujah!
Indecision makes my head spin.
I like to have things decided out right away so I don't have to stress over the possible outcomes.

Possible outcomes......
New business venture idea in the works.

Dear Boots,
I am becoming increasingly attached to the blue bathroom each time I see it.
Please, do not destroy.
Save your creative destructive energies for the grand house we're building in our heads that will someday be on the ground.
Much love,
Rachel

You know what's great about all this hectic wedding stuff?
Ya know, besides the cake and punch?
I get to see so many people that I haven't seen in a while and/or don't get to see very often.
I can't wait until the wedding!
There will be (I hope!) so many people there that love us and I hope we get to visit with them all.

Chloe has moved out of my apartment and down to our house.
She chewed up a wall in my bathroom yesterday as payback for the trouble she got in that morning and I cannot have teeth marks on everything that doesn't belong to me that I have to pay for when I move out.
I'm not sure if Nikki is sad her friend is gone or glad to have all the attention to herself again.
I hope they mesh as well as they have been meshing next month when they have to live together for good.
I hope me and Chloe started meshing better.
Mesh, mesh, mesh.

Cake, love, and funerals,
Rachel

I've been busy today.
I went to the post office, didn't get a thing.
It just disappoints me not to get any mail.
I went to the bank, took out some money (by the way, large amounts of cash make me nervous.  I was shaking like a drug dealer!) I went to my mom's office, I went to the wedding store to pick up two bridesmaids' dresses.
I went to another bank, got rid of that money, I went to the mall, bought nice hand soap at Bath and Body Works, went to Belk, bought three dresses because I was by myself and could not decide.
Went to Target, bought a few groceries but mostly magic dog washing potion (vinegar and antibacterial soap).
Went home, made myself cheese quesadillas for lunch.
Washed both dogs (ever washed a stubborn German Shepard?) in magic potion.
And proceeded to be lazy for the rest of the afternoon.
There you have it.

New Family Members

This is a longish update.

I'm not so good at daily posting.

Last Tuesday after work, I left my town for the next biggest city to hang out at "Camp Nana."

Camp Nana is something my soon-to-be maw-in-law came up with as a time to visit with her grandbabies.

She teaches them Bible verses and they paint crafts (I'm not brave enough for paint and kids!), she enforces good behavior and manners and expects fairness.

Camp Nana is a good way to practice your baby skills.

Such as not exploding when seven miniature humans all demand more chicken nuggets! at the same time!

Pee stinks.

Hot pee, cold pee, diaper pee, toilet pee.

It all stinks.

Camp Nana teaches you to eat when you have a chance.

Kids are an excellent diet.

You expend all of your energy chasing after them and caring for them.

Then when it's time to eat, you have to feed them and you forget to feed yourself until you're laying in the bed going to sleep and by that time you're too exhausted to move, much less fix yourself something to eat!

After I left Camp Nana Thursday afternoon I headed south to Boots' house to pick up his "child" Chloe and take her to my house.

Chloe is the one on the right.

The one on the left is my "child" Nikki.

You can't really tell in this picture but Chloe's right ear was shaved when she had surgery on a broken blood vessel.

The vet said she needed to stay inside a while so I'm keeping her until we get everything finalized with our house and Boots moves in.

Nikki is super hyper and jumps around all day everyday but Chloe is really chill and always relaxed.

She just sat in the front seat of the car looking out the window on the ride back.

Very calm and serene.

Staring out at the cows.

Really staring at the cows.

Staring like it would have been embarrassing for you if you were in the store and your kid was staring like that.

Is it still bad to stare or have we as society gotten over that since its widely accepted to be different and nowadays you want people to stare at you?

Please advise.

Chloe understands German.

I speak English.

We had a bit of a communication problem for the first few days but I think we've conquered the language barrier, at least I hope so.

Two dogs is a lot of work.

Its almost like having children.

And tell me this, why do dogs eat grass when they think they're going to puke?

Do you think that trick works on humans?

A Recap?

In the midst of my blogging funk/writer's block there has been a few things that are post-worthy.

Like the fact that my computer is evidently on its last leg.
Er, byte.
Space is vehhhry limited right now (and probably forever, for that matter.)

Wednesday I had a fit of creative genius that spilled over from Tuesday night.
I bought oodles of flowers (sunflowers and some weird yellow wildflowers) and floral tape (green and sticky) and went crazy in my living room while watching movies I'd long ago DVR'ed (man, I love DVR) and had yet to watch.

I could write about how Boots and I took three of his little nephews to the zoo on Thursday.
(The youngest one said, "Is that a good tiger or a bad tiger?"
:] )
Those boys are hands down the best boys in the world.
(They played in the bubble pit.
Did you even know they have bubble pits at the zoo?)
Words can't describe so I won't even try.
Anyways, those sweet boys had me all (sigh) babies until Friday night.
I'll get to that.

Oh, my exercising and working out so I won't be so fat come W-Day has completely fallen off.
I am a blob.
I hope to resume this week.
Maybe.
I better.

Friday, back to work after two glorious days off.
What an insane day.
We had five funerals!
I spent at least five hours straight in the sun.
Got my face and neck all red so now I have a great funeral director's tan.
(That's kinda like a farmer's tan but not because the only visible parts of a FD are their hands, face, and neck.
Plus the tops of my feet because I wear those funny shoes since I'm not a man and clodhoppers aren't exactly flattering on me.)
Got all stinky, and hot, and sweaty and smelling like a goat and stayed that way til I managed to finallyget home and take a much needed scrubbing.

Melody, my roommate calls, (we're still on Friday now, don't get lost) and she's coming home from her church's Bible School early because she has a killer headache.
Remember how a week or so ago (or maybe I forgot to mention it) I took her to the doctor for a killer headache who sent us to the hospital where the nurse called us an escort to Labor and Delivery (am I that fat?!) but would up taking us to get a cat run over her head and they said, "Oh!  Every thing's fine!"?
Obviously, everything was not fine in my fine friend's noggin.
Apparently, there's something amok.
(My, how I love my adverbs!)
(And, exclamation points!
"They" say exclamation points! make you happy! and energetic!)

Back to Friday night--the doctor delegates his team of nurses to give her at least three shots in the butt for pain, nausea, and antibiotics, respectively.
Much pain.
Much, much pain.
Especially in the head and later in the butt when she wakes up with those bruises.
I haul her home where she proceeds to puke all in the parking lot and right then and there I decide I'm not ready for midgets that resemble me and Boots to puke everywhere or even be everywhere or anywhere.
No babies.
I call my mom because I don't know who else to call at a time like this!
I need backup!
My mom comes and helps me babysit my sick friend.
I'm all nervous as a goose because I mean, "What if she throws up again?!?"
Yikes.
Put roommate to bed, check for breath signs every five minutes, pace floor, repeat.
Too wound up to go to bed at my usual bedtime.

Saturday.
Six funerals.
More sun, more redness (not exactly burning because I did this whole "it rubs the vinegar on its skin" thing to keep the sunburn away. 
It works.)
Roommate is sleeping off a bad headachey hangover all day, groggy and drugged up.
No more vomitus though, thanks.

Sunday. 
Roommate, much better.
Dog, much worse.
The dog got a dose of petrification or something because that girl was stiff as a lawn ornament.
She would not move.
Would.
Not.
Move.
Take dog outside, bring dog inside, put dog on floor, take shower, come back 20 minutes later and observe dog in exact same position in exact same spot.
I don't get it.
I can't keep a well house.
Am I next?
Yikes.
Only one funeral Sunday.
Major relief.
Went to church.
Came home.
Rest.
Sigh.

That's it.
Good enough?

Pictures as Promised

This first one is kinda gross.

I went down to the farm this week.

How'd you like to have those horns mounted on your wall?

(Since then I've been thinking

I would love to have a humongous peacock tail fanned out and mounted on my wall one day. 

I think that would be so pretty!)

We went swimming in the limestone pond.

This is my cousin, Pea.

Nikki even went swimming!

Here she is with my cousin, Em.

Boots and I went to a friend's wedding on Saturday.

We practiced taking pictures.

(I'm not sure why his purple shirt and tie looks blue in pictures.)

Sunday after work I got the clippers out again.

But this time not on the dog.

I cut my roommate's boy manfriend's hair and it didn't turn out too bad if I do say so myself.

What a scary sight.

Thank Facebook for the "Hide" Button!

Alternate titles: "My Weekend," "The Weekend," "Weekend Recap," and so on and so forth.

Question:  Why is it that in the blogging world nobody writes on the weekend?

That's like the best time for me to read and nobody writes!!

Maybe I should just save all of my unread posts until the weekend and trick myself.

I don't know.......one day I'll get to the bottom of it.

Let's see......Friday.

I was off work, I was lazy, I took Nat's advice and turned my dog into a burrito baby.

She didn't really like it but......

I went to Hobby Lobby, looked at artificial flowers, I went to the pool and saw 11 pennies on the way (what luck!).

I went with the roommate to see her grandbaby.

We stopped at Wal-Mart  >:( on the way and I had to walk down the wedding aisle.

I wasn't going to buy anything but I wanted to look.

I found these cake toppers.

How funny!

We ate quesadillas at the mall later.

Here's a picture of a redneck's version of a backseat driver.

Saturday......I worked, I went to my cousin's SURPRISE! birthday party, fell in love with a kitten (see photo below), visited family, and proceeded to develop a sore throat.

Sunday......woke up with aforementioned sore throat, I worked, skipped church, poured soap on my car so the rain could wash it, thought about going to look at cars after the salespeople have all gone home, thought about cleaning my apartment, thought about buying pots and planting sunflowers at my apartment, thought about "accidentally" dropping sunflower seeds in the grass and letting nature take its course, thought about houses.
It seems the house hunt has resumed itself as quickly as it dropped off but this time with renewed vigor.
Here's hoping.
I'm excited!

Do you watch House?
Have you noticed that they always run the same depression medication commercial at the beginning of every commercial break?
I think they think that the people that watch House are depressed.