Friday, May 20, 2016

When you know that it's over.

(mic tap) Is this thing on?
 
There's probably only two people that are going to see this, but hey! you're worth it!
 
A little back story: I started this blog in 2010 after Boots and I got engaged as a way to share wedding planning with our family that was/is scattered far and wide.  After the wedding I kept the blog going, posting about what Boots and I were doing fixing up our house.  Then Mayhem was born and, of course, he was the topic of every post.  Since then we've moved twice and Chaos was born. 
 
I have not grown a lot of followers like some blogs, but that's ok.  I have not made any money, but that was not what I set out to do.  I haven't made any friends through the internet that turned out to be friends in real life, probably mostly because we live thousands of miles apart.  I have at times wanted to quit (and have!) because the narcissism was getting to me, but I always came back.  
 
I enjoy posting and sharing, but it is rare that the Computer, the Internet, the Inspiration, the Energy, and the Time all meet up together.  (Sad truth- this post has cranked itself out so fast it's scary.  Not a lot of ruminating going on.  Must be a sign that it is time.)
 
There's so much to share!  I could post something every day I'm sure, but we live on a farm and have animals, a garden, and perpetual chores to help with, plus our own small business.  Plus, I have a husband and two tiny people that need me to cook and clean for them, a cow to milk every morning, and real-life friends and relationships to cultivate.  
 
My to do list has been hanging over my head the past several months and I can't shake it.  It's like this dark cloud of words and thoughts and don't forget this! with lightning streaks of guilt following me above my head.  Time for me to let it go and give myself grace because I cannot do all of the things.
 
 
 
A lot of the blogs that I have followed for years are shutting down and maybe the recent closure of one of my favorites (I won't even tell you because you might like it, too, and that's just sad) really made me think I'm done, too. 
 
I want to write, I have things to write about, but the biggest thing keeping me from it is...
 
 
 
So, that's it.  I'm done.  I won't say forever, but I will say for now.  Maybe I'll be back when I have more time.  This is a free blog so I don't intend to close it.  In the meantime, if you're not already there, you can follow me on Instagram.  I'm @eatingcrowpie, of course.
 
I'll be changing diapers, reading to my babies, and smelling like a cow.  I plan to get caught up on baby books for Mayhem and Chaos and hopefully, finally, organize and start printing some of the millions of pictures Boots and I have collected.