Tuesday, March 29, 2011

This morning my boss said, "So what are you going to talk about today?"

Excuse me?

I got dragged into going with him to UA to give a presentation on the funeral business and what we do to the students in a social work class. It went well, I only had to talk just a few minutes about myself and my background and answer some questions while my boss did most the rest of the 'splaining. I made a few jokes, they laughed, I was terribly nervous and I know my face was red, but it felt good.

It felt great to be a "professional" and be able to explain myself to a group of people who were hanging on every word. I felt accomplished and proud to be able to tell my boss that I was glad I'd graduated and didn't miss school at all.

Maybe I can't write like an English major or give a speech like my boss, but...... Who cares?

Tiny Ballerina with a Chicken

Friday, March 25, 2011

Leave Your Socks on the Ceiling, Boots

One of the "duties" of being a blogger is that you read other people's stuff. You subscribe, you comment. You wish.

Mostly, for some reason, I read blogs about people that have kids or are having kids or want kids. Not that I'm having kids, but I might one day and I'd like to know what people are experiencing with their kids. I subscribe to photography, gardening, and cooking blogs- all of these things I want to be better at. Recently, I've become a fan of the home management/organizing and the "make your whole house pretty" blogs.

That's where the "you wish" comes in. I wish I had a beautiful house filled with beautiful things and a beautiful garden outback. So I aspire. I set out to make my house the cleanest on the block with everything in its place and nothing out of place, fussing at my husband to pick up his socks and throw his used floss away. I plan to toil in my yard raking, burning, planting, and weeding until it is perfect.

I came home from work yesterday with an itch to rake my whole acre yard into one big pile before dark. To make a long story very short, I didn't wear gloves and gave myself a blister and three splinters, one of which hurts so bad it can't be described nicely. My finger is red, swollen, and angry. Much pain.

I'm laid up today. I can't wash dishes, can't fold clothes, I barely washed my own hair and forced myself to wash both dogs, one of which appreciated her washing so much she's wearing dirt on her nose right now! After sitting around all day going stir-crazy I really lost my cool with my bum finger after Boots left for work. I wrote in my notebook, thought about paying bills, walked circles in the house.

Thoroughly aggravated, I set fire to a barrel of sticks in the backyard and then smothered it with leaves. It took the flames a while to grow back and sitting there waiting, I had an ephipany.

I am in such a hurry to fix my house and yard, make everything beautiful! I want everything done yesterday, but there's never enough time. Why can't I be like that fire and take my time? What does it matter that I don't have fresh paint and my carpet is old? Who cares that I don't have a magazine-worthy garden? Nobody comes to visit us anyways so why can't I burn it up slowly, piece by piece?

Happy Birthday Katie!

Thursday, March 24, 2011

Remember when I said I forgot what Fall was like? I forgot Spring, too. It's like I'm a little kid all over again and Springtime is Christmas. I forgot about the flowers growing over night and I forgot about the return of the bugs.

Yesterday, I was driving out of the city into the country to take down tents from our funerals last week. I drove and admired the new growth, loving the bright new green and new colors. The Wisteria is growing everywhere, taking over the trees. Wisteria is so pretty to me, but I'm not committed to it because you can never get rid of it, although I probably should be since it might be Rachel-proof. You know who else loves Wisteria? Bees.

I got chills thinking about bees. Big, fat, bumbling bees that I used to catch in jars and kill with fly swats. Chills from remembering the first time I was ever stung. I guess I was six or seven, and somewhat proud that I'd been that long without being stung, much like the way I was proud that I made it to 20 without a cavity, but how big of an accomplishment is that, really?

I remember walking back to my Mamow's house from the garden with my mama and aunt. I loved the way birdseed felt and I stuck my finger into the hole in the bottom of a red plastic bird feeder so I could touch the seed. I felt the cool pebbles of seed and a white hot pop to my little index finger. I'd been stung by a mad bee trapped inside the bird feeder!

Oh, how I cried! My Mamow fussed over me and my tears.

I still love the feel of bird seed, but I've always been more careful of where I put my hands and fingers since then. You live, you learn.

Then when I was on Spring Break my freshman year of high school I got stung again by a red wasp, this time no fault of my own. I still have a scar from that. Good thing I'm not allergic.

And now, the Boots has to kill mosquito hawks and spiders in our house nearly everyday. The one thing I like about winter is the absence of bugs.

Bring the heat anyway.

Tuesday, March 22, 2011

I've always said that I wasn't sad because she's in my head, but today I miss my Dee Dee.
One day, when I write that my kids want a dog, remind me of all the dog vomit and diarrhea in the middle of the night, and I'll forever be indebted to you.

Monday, March 21, 2011

Too Much !, Not a Lotta Sense

Yay! Spring! And with Spring comes pollen! And pollen means staying inside spring cleaning is an excellent suggestion opposed to sneezing your head off outside! Yay!

Thursday, March 17, 2011

Sometimes you just don't have anything to talk about.

Monday, March 14, 2011

I'm On The Pot, Not A Boat, Although I'll Need One To Get To Work In The Morning!

  We're having our first casual dress funeral this week. I'm kinda excited, but really in more of a panic so this can't end well. Just ask Boots, Rachel in a panic is not a good idea.  So tonight, because it's raining, because the Bootshusband is not here to take them for me, and because I love you, I'm posting pictures of me on the toilet. 

  Please-- not like that!  Pictures of me on the toilet modeling the new clothes I bought today!

  ***Disclaimer-- Even though they're not all linked up, all of these clothes (except one pair of pants) are from The Limited which is not a surprise since my closet reads like a who's-who.  They might be a little pricey, but definitely worth it.  Quality over quanity, you know.  The Limited is always my go-to store when I feel like I need new clothes.***

A little blurry......(sorry)

and here it is tucked in.  Which is better?

How 'bout this three-layered beauty?

Shirt, short-sleeved cardigan, pants- Old Navy

Oh, yeah!

Mmm hmmmm!

What about this one?

Pants, Pink shirt- I've had it a while

Is the peep-hole shirt a bad idea?  Too secksy?  What about the sticker?  I'll take it off before I wear it, pinky swear.

Ooh la la!

Blue shirt- I bought it last summer


Friday, March 11, 2011


Folks, This is a Disaster!

(How turdy of me to have a title like that especially after all that happened in Japan, but in my defense- I named this post days ago!)

For quite some time, I have wanted a swishy skirt.  I'd say since, ummmmmm......October!  Or maybe it was June, I forget.  Swishy skirts, to me, are flirty and fun, springtime and summer, boats and malls!  But swishy skirts on me- how sad!

This swishy skirt was found at Belk made by "New Directions" and on sale for $44.  While $44 is a little rich for my blood I had to try it on simply because I said I had to.  So I did. 

And I picked up this white shirt (Sophie Max, $68!!! not on sale!, XS--showed my belly!) off the dressing room closet floor and tried it on with it! .

Horrific.  Big, wide, too-many-donuts-and-cheeseburgers-hips do not pair well with swishy skirts.

But I tried.

Browsed the shoes at Charlotte Russe and thought, "How cute!" even though I know I'd never wear anything like these.

This here in what JCPenney calls their "essential shirt."  Whatever.  The dang thing is s t r e t c h y.  And the cuffs are so dang tight that you have to unbutton them to get the shirt on!  Maybe it's their "essential," but it's not my "practical."

(Worthington, size 10, on sale for $19)

Now these pants.  Old Navy.  A little too big but the next size down was too little.  (I'm fat.  And either brave or dumb for posting pictures of myself for the world to see.  Maybe I can reflect back on this post with my "after" pictures.)

I thought these two shirts would be cute with the pants, but no.  Awful, just awful.  But check out my forearm muscles!

(Old Navy pants Ultimate Straight, $29.50 on sale for $19.50)

Check out the shoes!  I loved them, had to have them, and have them I do.  Now I need a cute oufit to wear them with.  Or maybe just some nice jeans.

Jeans- that's another post for another time.  Oy.

(Shoes- Mid Scrf Wedge (whatever that means), $24.50)

So that's my first trip shopping for "executive casual."  One pair of pants and one pair of shoes (that I don't intend to wear to work) does not a wardrobe make.  I'll post more pictures and details when I get 'em.  I don't consider this a win.

Thursday, March 10, 2011

Wednesday, March 9, 2011

My days of only having to decide between wearing scrubs or a suit to work and knowing I had the option to change later at work are over. Our dress code has been adjusted. We are now to dress "executive casual" unless otherwise stated.

Wow. I'm going to have to put some thought into this. I have to make an effort to look nice now. I can't just throw on a suit anymore and let that be it! They expect me to mix and match!

I've been following Kendi for a few months now and she's got some great ideas but you have to actually have some sense of fashion to make them work. I ain't got a clue when it comes to fashion!

Oh, dear.

Help me Rhonda!

Tuesday, March 8, 2011

Day 4

(How do ya like my plant tags Boots made me out of the tops of the seed packets and leftover nails?  Haha!)

Monday, March 7, 2011

In the land of crazy dreams I'm a king, er-- queen! Whatever, I've got what it takes to make an insane dream. Like this recent one.

I'm on facebook reading statuses when I read Boots'. He has announced to everyone that I'm pregnant. I didn't even know myself!

The DEA agents are riding backroads in old-fashioned Mayberry-era police cars hunting drug dealers that are camped out in tents when somehow they get caught up in a funeral procession and mass confusion ensues.

What a night!

Sunday, March 6, 2011

I bought this "brandy snifter" from Wal-Mart at least four years ago.  Probably closer to five years now if I really think on it.  This humongous glass has been a torture chamber for a red bromeliad (drowned) and was there a fish in there at one time?  I can't remember.  It has mostly held junk.  Buttons, bookmarks, remotes, knick knacks, odds and ends, tchotcheys.  Junk. 

New life for the glass!

I've always been in lust over terrariums.  I've been in awe and astonishment over these glass gardens for years!


Dirt.  And a husband reflected in the glass!

And me, looking over my directions on the iPad.

I bought this new glass from Target.  It has a lid which is pretty cool in my book.

More dirt.

This is me experimenting with the plants, trying to figure out which one fits where best.

So pretty.  I'm very proud of myself.

There's two Indians Native Americans and two dinosaurs prehistoric creatures in each one.

Wonder how long it will take me to kill it.

Saturday, March 5, 2011

Look what I got!

Stephanie from luvschrome gave me my first blog award!  I don't know what to say.  I've never had to give an acceptance speech before.  Am I versatile?  Maybe so, I do blog about a lot of different subjects.

Rules:  Thank the giver, pass it on, post seven fun facts.

I nominate Alisa, DG, Travel & Dive Girl, Amanda, Marnie, Kendi Lea, Mel, Nat, Sobrina.

#1 I'm a horrible baker.
#2 I got a "thing" for glass.
#3 I try to be green and recycle even though the bottles piling up drive my husband insane.
#4 My socks never match.
#5 I love frappes and iced coffees.
#6 My favorite shoes are boots
#7 I love breakfast and IHOP is always a good choice for a dinner out.

Thanks for the award, Stephanie!  This has been fun.

Friday, March 4, 2011

A Plantin'

Start with an earth friendly greenhouse kit made from bamboo.

The seed packets I bought had such trouble deciding on.

You gotta flip the little coconut coin things over so they're all laying on the flat side.
(Not exactly an easy task with fat fingers.)

Pour some warmish water over the top of them and watch them expand like packing peanuts in a bathroom sink!

Then you have to stir 'em up with a fork so that the coconut dirt fills up the cell.

The fork was my idea, it doesn't say to use a fork on the instructions.
(I chose a fork instead of a cheese slicer that way after I wash it I won't know which one I used.  OCD, I know.)

Sunflowers seeds, of course!

Drama in the kitchen!  I got distracted by a spider running across the floor and had to jump up and go smash him!

Who knew tomato seeds were so tiny?  Not me!

After you get them all planted you're instructed to cover them with the "greenhouse germination sheet" provided in the kit.

I had to buy another tray (Jiffy professional greenhouse from Home Depot) to plant the rest of the flowers, plus the okra and squash seeds I bought today.

Pour warm water over the top of the things (peat pellets they call them) and watch 'em expand! 
Then, fluff with a fork.

Plant more tiny tomato seeds.

Boots said this is my serious/concentrating face.

And these are......
I'm not sure what these are, some sort of flower.

These seeds for something else look like tiny little dried up brains!

And there you have it- two mini greenhouses.
(And an extremely long, lame post.)

Wednesday, March 2, 2011

Right now I'm super jealous of Agnes. (Yeah, click that.) I wish I could be a crafty a person although it's probably best I'm not since I have hoarder-like tendencies.

Yard Birds

If you're eating oatmeal because of its cholesterol lowering benefits you should probably not salt the water when you're cooking it, right?

Tuesday, March 1, 2011

In Need Of An Intervention

I had a list of four items: bananas, a toothbrush, tampons, and a new Brita filter and intended it to be a short trip, in and out, but I got lost in the seasonal sale aisles.  Last month, the seasonal sale aisles had things like baby diapers, dish detergent, and paper plates.  This month, with everybody getting excited about Spring its outdoor furniture, barbeque grills and seed packets. 

I went hog wild on the seed packets.  First I grabbed a rosemary because I love the way rosemary smells, debated between two different tomatoes, pondered the zinnia, cosmos, and dahlias before grabbing one of every kind of sunflower and plowed on to the tall fescue grasses!  "Have you lost your mind?!" I asked myself, because I know me and I have a black thumb.  I came to my senses and bought one tomato, one sunflower, and a pack of four different flowers to plant around the mailbox.  And a seed tray, plus three out of four of the items on my list.