Saturday + Sunday + Monday

Friday Mayhem and I did a little traveling and spent the afternoon visiting my sister and then stayed the night with my mama.  I sorta had hopes that the curse would be reversed and he'd go back to sleeping twelve hours straight like he did the last time we stayed with her.  No such luck.  But we had a good time and got up early Saturday morning to drive some more to my stepbrother's wedding.  

You know, I consider myself to be pretty funny, but when confronted with a blank Jenga piece and asked to write something to the bride and groom on it I just slap came up empty.  Nothing!  So I had to settle for just our names.  The same went for the tongue depressors we were supposed to write date night suggestions on.  

(My stepbrother...poor fella...knocked over the unity candle before the wedding even started!  All he could do was laugh and smile and I kept thinking to myself, "SYMBOLISM!"  Let's hope not.)

Mayhem behaved very well during the ceremony and I give all the credit to Goldfish.  No loud MM MMMing like at my cousin's graduation though thankfully.

Target was having a buy one get one half off dress sale Friday so I bought three potentials to wear to the wedding without trying them on (that turned out well) and took them all back Saturday afternoon.  Some interesting clouds blew up while we were inside and it wasn't long after we made it back to the car big ol' fat rain, as Forrest Gump would say, came down.

Mayhem was exhausted and just passed out right on top of his daddy!

Since nobody was sick we went to both services at church Sunday.  When I picked him up from the nursery after the morning service the ladies told me that he'd been so good and played they didn't even know he was there.  That night was a different story.  They said he had social difficulties and fell apart when one of his little friends crawled at him too fast for his liking and then a little girl bopped him in the face for crying!  I guess it's hard learning to play with others.

Monday morning we went back to the doctor for a check up on his ears.  They seem to be about 70% better the doctor said and should finish healing on their own.  They'll check him again at his 18 month appointment in September barring any trouble between now and then.

The doctor spent most of the time talking to me about his sleep problems- Mayhem's sleep problems, not the doctor's.  I'll try anything once so last night I gave the Cry Yourself to Sleep approach another go.  It took an hour and half and about six different times of me going in to help him lay back down, but he finally went to sleep and slept the next 7 hours!

The doctor said it should take two weeks but, if we're consistent he ought to be cured of this waking up every 45 minutes nonsense.  I certainly hope so and last night was a good encouragement.

Week 46

Watch his lips.  He kept saying, "buh! buh!" which I assume means ball.  Sometimes block.

Unless otherwise stated in explicit detail let's just assume that Mayhem, and me by default, are not sleeping well.  Up every hour, two if we're lucky.  Religiously.  That sort of thing.  It's not looking like things are going to get better in the sleep department anytime soon and I'm tired of hearing myself explain it.  I'm tired of thinking about and calculating how much sleep we are and are not getting every single night.  I'm tired.  So tired I went to bed five minutes after Mayhem finally did last night and "Oh, yeah, I forgot to post..."  I'm giving myself permission to stop thinking about it.  Also, I will never describe a good night's sleep as sleeping like a baby ever again.  That's just inaccurate.

Sleep deprivation aside, but along that same line: the other night I propped myself up in bed on my elbow to read a book and rubbed the inside tender part on my scratchy line-dried sheets (dryer's half broke, another time) just a little too hard.  Automatically, that little bit of unpleasantness took me right back to the first night in the hospital with Mayhem, propping up on my elbow a thousandty times until it was nearly raw.  I was all hopped up on new mama adrenaline and too nervous to relax because I was convinced someone would steal him in my sleep after that whole protect-yer-baby speech they gave us during the tour.  I jumped at every tiny peep he made.  Foreshadowing of all the nights to come I guess.  Ha!

No Rest for the Weary

So far, this parenting thing has been better than I had expected.  Sure, I'm physically exhausted and constantly sleep-deprived, but I haven't been through the thissuckssobadwhydidIwantababy pull-my-hair-out-whines yet.  Until this week.

For the past month, Mayhem's naps have gone from good to annoying.  The kid would sleep 1.5-2 hours at a stretch and then it seemed like all of a sudden he started waking up after 45 minutes.  The book I've been reading says that babies tend to wake up after their sleep cycle ends (usually 45 minutes) and can't put themselves back to sleep.

The book describes what to do to help them learn how to go back to sleep on their own (shushing and patting, picking them up when they're crying then laying them back down when they stop) and I've been trying to follow it like she says to, but it is so hard.  I totally understand "accidental parenting"  and how people just let their kids do whatever the kids want to do because it's easier than doing what's right.  Right is hard and wrong is easy, my brain is fried and I feel like giving in.

Today has been the worst day of all of the worst week of all of the worst month of all.  Mayhem's 45 minute naps have gone to 25 and even ten minutes!  Apparently, when you complain about your kid sleeping less than you'd prefer, the little boogers tend to listen and silently formulate plans of revenge inside those tiny minds of theirs.  He's all, "I'll show her!  Heh, heh!" and refuses to take naps at all.  I make jokes and laugh like this is funny, but really, I'm running out of rope here, people.

This afternoon, the little critter slept 20 minutes before he woke up so I quit what I was doing and went in determined to shush-pat him until he went back to sleep.  I've done it before.  It takes about 20 minutes of patting and not quitting because it is awfully boring and I get an awful headache from leaning over in his crib, but it does work.  He was hell-bent on not going back to sleep even though I knew there was no way he was rested.  Shush-pat did not work so I moved onto pick up/put down because at this point he'd started crying.

Ya'll, he screamed and cried and bellered and hollered and snorted and snotted and pushed and bucked all over me for the rest of his nap, 70 minutes!  The front of my t-shirt was soaked with his tears and we were both hot and sweaty even though I had a fan on and the air down low.  I stood in front of his crib shushing and patting the whole time.  He only calmed down after he wore himself out and slept the last seven minutes.  I had the bright idea to wear earplugs this time because his screaming usually works on my nerves.  That was the first time I've done that and the earplugs really helped me keep my cool I think.

I want so bad to just sit and hold him the whole time he might sleep, but I can't do that.  I don't want to spoil him and get him used to something I'm not going to do forever, but man it would be so easy.  This is the hard part I've been afraid of.

Tell me it gets better.  I know it will, but I need some "don't give ups" and "here's what I did that workeds."  At least he's sleeping at night, right?

This little lover slept 12.5 hours last night without a movement or a sound.  He's so sweet in the mornings after he wakes up and has his breakfast.  I think I'll keep him!  ;)

Goodnight Baby

Tonight we pitched a royal fit for our supper before bedtime way earlier than usual.  And by "we" I mean Mayhem.

After supper and 'jammies I swaddled him in two blankets and held him for a few minutes while he relaxed.  Now I'm leaning over his crib, thumping his chest in the slowest tick-tock rhythm possible with my right hand while trying to type this post left-thumbed as I wait for him to fall asleep.  My back is killing me.  Why aren't these beds taller so you can stand straight and do this?

Teaching him to fall asleep on his own is turning out to be easier than I expected though.  I'm so glad I'm learning how to do this now rather than wait for a problem to grow.  Of course, I know I can't plan for everything even though Boots will tell you I'll try.  I'm just hoping to get a few things right to help against the wrong ones.

Week 14

This boy. 

He has been sleeping so good.  The past two nights he only woke up hungry once, sleeping from 9 PM to 6 AM.

But today......

After we got back from our little Publix run at 1 o'clock, he decided that 14 weeks is a grown man and he ain't got no time for a nap!  Grumpy and yelling one minute, happy and playing the next.  He's normally so good about taking a nap, sometimes even putting himself to sleep without me holding him.

He passed out for thirty minutes (and I mean passed slam out!) after thirty minutes of hollering and then woke up right where he'd left off.

He'd sleep in my arms for five minutes until I laid him down then he'd wake back up again.  There were big, fat baby tears and much wailing and gnashing of gums!

Does nap rebellion accompany the three month growth spurt?

I gave him and his little red eyes a bath at 8 and put him to bed at 9.  I hope he sleeps good tonight to make up for those missed naps this afternoon.

Mayhem vs. Mama

Today has been a challenge.  Mayhem is hard-headed and stubborn like me and thinks he doesn't need sleep like his daddy.  That right there is a combination for an ultimate showdown at naptime. 

I tried something new yesterday- setting "the mood" for sleep by closing the curtains and turning on his fan then settling him down by holding him very still and vertical at my neck, finally putting him in his bed when he was relaxed enough to put himself to sleep.  It worked just like the book said it would and it was beautiful.  Too beautiful.

I think last night he decided I was getting smart and has been a tyrant today.  Especially this afternoon.  He is resisting every trick I know and every attempt I've made.  He gets relaxed, I lay him down, and he sleeps for two minutes until his pacifier falls out and then he screams like he's being killed.  I have to swaddle him with his arms at his side now or he helicopters them over his head to stay awake.

I know the older he gets the less sleep he'll need, but why can't he be happy when he's awake if he's not going to sleep?  I know he's got to be sleepy because he's yawning and rolling his eyes back in his head.

When, not if, he ever does go to sleep I am not waking him up to eat.

Send baby sleep tips now!  At the very least, lie to me and tell me he's going to sleep all night!

This is your brain on sleep......

Sometimes, when I'm really tired and finally laying down, just about to drift off to sleep, I get crazy ideas.  My creativity is in overdrive when I'm trying to shut down!

A few days ago, trying to take a nap, I designed the coolest invention: a music player that you set the length of time you want it to play and the starting volume and as it plays the volume decreases automatically so that when the selected time is up the volume is turned all the way down to zero.  To save electricity/batteries it would even shut itself off!

What a great idea!  Necessity is the mother of invention and mothers have needs, like sleep.

Am I delirious?  Has this already been invented?  I haven't had time to scour the internet to find out yet.  Don't steal my idea!

Sometimes when I'm about to go to sleep I hear him crying but I wake up out of my stupor and realize its in my head.  Is this some sort of Neanderthal mama survival mechanism?

This morning I was taking a nap on the couch dreaming about taking Mayhem to the aquarium.  I love aquariums, I think they're beautiful!  We were watching the sharks when the tank busted and we're swimming in the water with them and I'm freaking out that my baby is going to drown.  Even when I woke up and saw he was definitely on dry land I was still thinking he might drown!

I think I'm cracking up.  He's been sleeping better at night this past week but my sleep bank is still so in debt it's upside down and thinking about filing bankruptcy!

( A strict feeding schedule- every three hours NO. MATTER. WHAT! and "tanking up" a few hours before bed has made all the difference in him sleeping three to four and half hours at a time and my sanity.)

Panic

  Maybe it's sleep depravitity mixed with a little bit of adjusting to a tiny, new person in the house added in with a different schedule, but the past few nights Boots and I have flipped out a little. 

  We sleep soundly, without worrying if he's still breathing since we have a fancy pants baby monitor that will sound an alarm if it doesn't detect movement for 20 seconds.  There's no hovering over the crib with one hand close to his face to detect breath.  But if one of us rolls over in bed pretty hard and bumps the other one who was previously sleeping soundly, the bumped person will sit bolt upright in bed, most likely in a terrified sweat, "Where's Mayhem?!  Did you put him back in his crib?!" 

  The offending person then has the job of reassuring the other person that Mayhem is in fact, fine, and has not been in our bed at all. 

  I'm not sure where this fear comes from since everytime Mayhem has ever fallen asleep with one of us looks like this......

 

or this.

 

  Then again, I do know where this fear comes from.  In my five years in the funeral business, I have tended to so many dead babies that have died because of co-sleeping or family sleeping or whatever you want to call it, but it amounts to sleeping in the parents' bed.  I've always thought about how sad it was because this death could have easily been prevented. 

  If I'm terrified now, what will I do in 16 years when he gets his license and starts driving?  I'll probably have to be medicated!

  Before he was born, one of the many times Boots and I were trolling the baby aisle in Target, I saw this which made me feel a lot better about the families that still choose to sleep with their baby.  Maybe when he starts driving Nerf cars will be real and not something I made up, if someone can figure out how to make Nerf water resistant.

Fall Back

The change from daylight savings time to, uh, non-daylight savings time? is the one that always gets me. Incan spring forward and lose an hour easily enough but, falling back is quite the opposite.

I always wake up an hour early automatically and here's how it always goes:

Rachel's Body: "Get up!"
Rachel's Brain: "No, we've got an extra hour. Go back to sleep."
Body: "Can't sleep now, I'm awake!"
Brain: "Shut up! And learn how to tell time!"
Body: "Ok, I'll just lay here and make you think about all the things you could be doing."
Brain: "Arrrgh!"

Every single year it's like this. When will the bickering end?

I've decided that one of my favorite feelings in the world, besides a big hug from Boots, is the feeling of total relaxation right before drifting off to sleep.  That's pretty much the best part of my whole day right there.

I like that whole falling in the mattress feeling and just letting the cares of the day go, until I focus on how good it feels to just relax and all the things I didn't do start crowding in my head then things start getting really crazy.  I try to calm my brain down and get out of that argument,

"You relax!"

 "No!  Don't tell me to relax!  You need to get a grip and stop forgetting stuff before bedtime!"

Things like that.  Anyone else?  Just me?

Boots says that I jump when I'm falling asleep.  You've heard of hypnic jumps before, right?  Seems I've got a bad case of them.  And I talk in my sleep.  And I require lots of sleep.  Last night I slept 10 hours and woke up this morning feeling like a movie star  like I'd slept 10 hours.  Now that's a great feeling.

Lying Eyes

Last night, after my 8 o'clock frappé complete with walk through every aisle of Target, I settled into my little twin bed I claimed in the dorm at work.
With iPad in hand, and Pocket Frogs on the screen, I turned out all but one small light.
My eyes heavy, I was ready for sleep, missing my Bootshusband and wishing I was home.
Just as I turned out the little light I saw it!
I flicked the light back on, pinched it between my fingers!
I snatched the covers back and tore at the sheets.
After finding no more I opened my fingers.
The bedbug was just a bit of fuzz.