Garlic Harvest

Technically, we're several months ahead of schedule, but when you need garlic and you have the chance to dig some, you dig.  Calendar be hanged!

And then I washed them...which you're not supposed to do.  We'll see what happens.

Not Much of a Butcher, Certainly Not a Baker, Haven't Tried Candle Making

Ya'll, I am a crap baker.

Not a crap baker in the sense that I put waste in my oven, but what comes out the oven is definitely considered waste.

My Eats board on Pinterest is loaded with recipes I'd like to try.  I'm always on the lookout for something new, especially when it comes to bread. 

I want to be one of those people that makes their own bread so bad!  But I can't.

I have tried so many "anyone can make this bread!" recipes it would make you cry.  Or laugh.  You can find my flops on my Failures Pinterest board.  There's a lot.  Here's my latest.

It's supposed to be big and poofy, but instead it is sad and flat.  Kinda like my hair!

Anybody got any "this will surely work!" recipes?  Or just general bread making tips?  Like stop eating it?

Are You Going to Eat That?

Probably not.

We've got ourselves a tiny man on a food strike.  What's this about?  Aren't I the union rep?

All he wants to eat right now is oatmeal.  And sometimes a little bit of banana.  

It started a few days ago with spoon refusal.  Maybe he's decided those colored baby spoons are just too childish for him?  So whatever he ate from a utensil came off of a fork, a real poke-yer-eyeballs-out fork.  I guess he got upset that I wouldn't allow him to hold the fork by himself and has now declared that he shan't eat anything!  Nothing!  

No matter the color, texture, or temperature.  Only oatmeal and maybe banana.  No eggs, no toast, chewed a bit of bacon, no veggies, no tri-colored cork screw pasta, no chicken, no shredded wheat biscuits, nothing.  

He'll pick up whatever is in front of him, consider it, maybe even touch it to his tongue for a quick flavor check, and then spit it right back out like you just told him he was eating a worm.  Milk intake is the same as usual, still drinks a lot of water.  

I hope this is just a phase and that it passes quickly because I am nervous as a cat that he'll grow up on the Standard American Diet.  You know: junk food, fast food, nothing green.

Any ideas?  Inspirational quotes to calm me down?  

Perhaps I should give him his food in the floor because he's quite interested in chewing on whatever microscopic bit of leaf or lint, or rubber door knob stopper tip he can find.

Week 25

**********
Dear Child,

Yes, I'm putting your business on the Internet.  You can be mad at me about that one day, but it must be written down in order to provide a good back story.

Love,
Yer Mother

**********


Soooo...... Monday I took Mayhem to the doctor because he hadn't pooped in an entire week.  I wasn't really worried because I'd read that breastfed babies sometimes don't poop but once a week.  But it had been a week and no poop and although he was happy and playing (maybe a little more pooty) I was scared to keep waiting for something to happen only to be told later that I really should have brought him in sooner!  I have a hard time listening to my gut, especially since my gut says things like, "Feed me all the chocolate in the house!  I need a third piece of cake!"  Clearly, my gut can't be trusted so I try to listen to my head instead.

After trying the take-the-temp-to-make-him-poop trick, the doctor said he needs to eat more fiber and in a month! he should have a new "regular."  Oh, dear.  In addition to his daily oatmeal, he is supposed to eat prunes, apricots, pears, plums, beans, peaches, peas, or spinach.  And drink prune juice cut with water.

Let me just say, spoonfeeding is not something I enjoy.  In fact, I hate it.  It makes me want to smash metal folding chairs like wrestlers ("wrasslers" if you're from the South) do on tv.

Mayhem wants to operate the spoon even though physically he can not, but after a few times of me assuring him I will have to do it for him, he will settle for holding onto the spoon right in front of my fingers and helping guide my hand to his mouth......if he's in the mood to even eat.  Spoonfeeding is so time consuming and boring.  And messy.  Over half the bowl is smeared on his face, up his nose, on the bib, on my hands, on my shirt.

To me, this dinnertime dance is not worth it.  Baby food is expensive.  Especially if you buy the organic, BPA-free products so you're sure (can you be sure?) you're not feeding your baby poison.

After reading, BLW I am sure that is what I want to do to teach him to eat.  He is used to being in charge of his consumption already and I don't like feeling like I'm trying to force feed him.  (The concept behind BLW or baby-led weaning is that the baby "feeds" himself real food from the table and learns how to feed himself by the time he actually needs food for nutrition, not just milk.  No pureed food, no force feeding.)

P.S.  The doctor was right- all the way up his back, to his shoulders!  I gave him to Boots to wash off in the shower while I did damage control elsewhere.  Gross.

Toys may be for kids, but they're really for the parents, right?  Tired of looking at the toys he's been playing with lately I dug in Mayhem's closet and broke out these Melissa and Doug sports balls.  They all make different noises and have little smiley faces on them.  He'll probably really enjoy these when he gets a little older.

Today I want fruit.

Strawberries, bananas, blueberries, peaches, cherries, pineapple, mandarin oranges, pears, kiwis, mango, watermelon.

Cold fruit. Maybe a smoothie. And honey.

I Must Look Like I Know......

I'm in Target, standing in the meat section, looking at the chicken, trying to find my favorite brand of thighs because I've been dreaming about chicken and white sauce since Saturday- no, probably last Tuesday night. Or maybe even 4th of July. Anyway, chicken and white sauce, obsessed!

I pick up the pack I want (Gold'n Plump skin-on, bone-in thighs) and this girl standing next to me in the typical college girl uniform (shorts, long sleeve shirt) asks me, "Are these chicken breasts?" She's holding a pack of boneless, skinless breasts and I point to the words and tell her very nicely that they are indeed breasts.

Then, in a moment of something totally unlike me, I tell her that I like to use thighs because basically they taste the same, are hard to overcook, and are much cheaper. I even compare the prices for her. She thanks me and we part ways.

I walked away feeling like I'd just contributed something major to society, realizing something I already knew, that I like telling people what I know. Maybe I should have been a teacher. Maybe I could become a professional grocery shopper for college kids and maybe stop them from buying so much junk in boxes. And disposable paper products. That would be a great job for someone with a degree in nutrition.

Egg Affair

  I've always liked eggs, but now I like eggs.  Eggs are the first thing I think about in the morning when I think breakfast.  I've been on a scrambled eggs with oatmeal kick lately, then I decided to transfer over to the fried egg side.  I've never been crazy about fried eggs (all that runny yolk!), but I'll make them as Egg-in-the-Holes and cook the yolks til they're firm.  Ohmigosh, wonderful!  Salt and pepper, forget the jelly!

  Speaking of jelly, I just discovered a squeezable container of jelly (this kind) that spent the night in my purse and miraculously made it through unopened and didn't grease up everything inside!  It's my lucky day, I tell ya!

  As you can see there are two "holes" here and only one Egg-in-the-Hole. That dirty fork is guilty as charged. Couldn't help myself!

  My Egg-in-the-Hole recipe comes from my online "food mentor," Pioneer Woman. Check out the recipe here, you'll only need it once because this is one you can easily remember.

  With two egg types down and how many more to go, who knows what's next?  Poached eggs?  Eggs benedict?  "How do you like your eggs?"  (Name that movie!)

It's The Little Things!

Do your pantry staples look like this?  (Does this sound like a Billy Mays commercial?)

I bought these from Target and I'm loving them.  They're plastic- not glass, which isn't exactly what I wanted, but you can't tell they're not glass unless you touch them.  The mouths are super wide and they lock down really tight.

The grits are my favorite, so pretty!  The scoops hanging on the side are pretty handy too.  I've been needing  some canisters for a while and at a price of $20.79 plus tax these were a good buy in my book.

Be advised: do not go to Dairy Queen and order an original "Orange Julius." It's basically bubbled up orange juice and an expensive ripoff.

French Toast a la Boots

I've been watching lots of the Food Network channel today and in doing so I've learned the meaning of how too much of a good thing ain't a good thing.
For example, I cringe inside my head every time I hear "marry the flavors," and if I see one more hamburger with a fried egg on it I'll just scream!

Today I......

~poured a bag of kitty litter in the back of Boots' truck to soak up the gas I spilled (don't ask)

~smiled like Scarlett and said, "Nothing," when the car salesman asked me what he could do to earn my business today (was that harsh?)

~watched an overweight girl cry on MTV because she was out of shape

~got motivated to go mostly walk/barely run

~cleaned out the flower bed cuz I'm ready for the summer time

~made ice cream flavored with mint, jalapenos, chocolate, cinnamon, and vanilla (it's more like mousse)

~shocked Boots by rejected the bread sticks at Pizza Hut because I'd watched the cook touch them without gloves (he thinks I'm so passive)

~got all excited to see that The Dark Knight is coming on TNT tomorrow night! (RIP Heath Ledger)

~decided it was a good day

For supper tonight I had toast with strawberry jelly and a side of pickles.
Ya know, I haven't been to the grocery store in a month, I've been busy!

Today I gave an old lady a ride home.
When I first saw her, I didn't stop.
I was thinking about Target and the supper I was cooking when I got home, I wasn't in the mood to stop and tell anybody that we weren't having visitation tonight, to go across the road to the other funeral home.
While I waited to turn out in the road there was a long line of cars coming and I saw her waving her arms at me in my side mirrors.
I decided maybe this was more than somebody that read the wrong name in newspaper, threw her in reverse and got out.
She told me the story of her "accident."

She was driving down the road and suddenly became blinded by the sun!
She ran off the road and struck a curb, bursting her tires!
She flapped over to the parking lot of the funeral home and was hunting somebody to borrow a phone from.

She called her husband from my phone, he didn't answer.
I offered to give her a lift and cleaned the crap out of my front seat so she could get in.
We chatted about my job, our cars, and our husbands.
I took her home, she gave me five dollars and I left feeling good about myself.

I went to Target and fell in love.

Whoa, Moses!  Aren't those cute!

Went home and cooked penne for supper.

The Bootshusband loved it.



iPad and I are getting to know each other.
Things like this take time, you know.

I'm getting into this wife thing.
Last night I cooked roasted tilapia, potatoes, and olives.
Tonight...penne!

I haven't had much to write lately.
There's just not much too much happening.
I'm just working and doing wedding stuff and house stuff.
But by not writing I'm neglecting the purpose of the blog.
(Purpose? 
Oh, yeah! 
To keep people our family fah fah away informed of our happenings!)

We had a wedding shower the past two Saturdays and got lots of great presents.
Boots and I are going to have plenty of new things to use in our house.
We got nice, new, fluffy towels.
Shiny pots and brand new spoons!
Baskets, and decorations, and tools!
I'm dying to cook something with all my new wares but I haven't had the time yet.
Expect lots of cooking posts in October.

I've been writing 'thank you' notes until my eyes cross.
Don't you just love writing 'thank you' notes?
(I may be sarcastic about a lot of things but from the bottom of my heart I love writing 'thank you' notes.
I like paying bills too.
There's just some allure about writing checks, licking envelopes, and sticking stamps.
Maybe because it's only 'special' occasions that you get to do such.)

Boots and I finally decided on the flooring for the majority of the house!
Hallelujah!
Indecision makes my head spin.
I like to have things decided out right away so I don't have to stress over the possible outcomes.

Possible outcomes......
New business venture idea in the works.

Dear Boots,
I am becoming increasingly attached to the blue bathroom each time I see it.
Please, do not destroy.
Save your creative destructive energies for the grand house we're building in our heads that will someday be on the ground.
Much love,
Rachel

You know what's great about all this hectic wedding stuff?
Ya know, besides the cake and punch?
I get to see so many people that I haven't seen in a while and/or don't get to see very often.
I can't wait until the wedding!
There will be (I hope!) so many people there that love us and I hope we get to visit with them all.

Chloe has moved out of my apartment and down to our house.
She chewed up a wall in my bathroom yesterday as payback for the trouble she got in that morning and I cannot have teeth marks on everything that doesn't belong to me that I have to pay for when I move out.
I'm not sure if Nikki is sad her friend is gone or glad to have all the attention to herself again.
I hope they mesh as well as they have been meshing next month when they have to live together for good.
I hope me and Chloe started meshing better.
Mesh, mesh, mesh.

Cake, love, and funerals,
Rachel

Thought for Food

If God only wants 10%, why do we have to give the waitress 20?

Yesterday was a road trip for me.
I drove four hundred miles in twelve hours to go to a friend's wedding and pick up my wedding invitations.

The trip's events were dominated by Boots' GPS which he made me take even though I insisted I didn't need it because he insisted I did.

Before I left, I stopped at the local Target to buy a wedding bag and a wedding card for my wedding present.
I even color coordinated with the invitation and the wedding colors (blue and white.)
How nice.

I bought a big bag of Sour Patch Kids and a Dr. Pepper.
Junk food for the road, you know.

Got Boots' GPS set for my destination and hit the interstate, being careful to watch for those state workers because it is Fourth of July weekend, of course.

I'm driving along, listening to my new radio, wearing my sweaty dress I'd had dry cleaned this past week, eating Sour Patch Kids until my tongue was slap raw.
I'm thinking about how cool it would be if GPS machines and radar detector beepers were all-in-one devices.
And maybe if it was combined with cell phone.

That GPS lady would come real handy telling you which way to turn to duck the police.
I look at my fingers on the steering wheel, admiring my engagement ring, and there is an ant on my arm!!
Crawling along like it belonged there!
I freaked out, crossed into the other lane (nobody was around, it's ok) and got that one and another off my leg!
Where did those chomping critters come from?!

After that near disaster, fifty miles later, I'm off in La La Land thinking about Boots and wedding stuff and TURN RIGHT!!!
Scared the crap out of me.
I mean I jumped twice it startled me so bad!
Can't that thing beep or something to let you know you're fixin' to get yelled at?
What if I'd had a bad heart?

Another 50 miles or so later, I'm so far out in the woods the radio stations don't play new music anymore.
I passed by some blue and white balloons tied to a sign.

"Huh.
Wonder if that's it?
Nah, probably not.
GPS lady says I've still got 15 miles to go."

15 miles later, I'm obviously in the wrong place.
There is no church where I am.
I don't know if it's the bride's fault or the GPS lady's but I proceed to freak out since I'm lost and beginning to run short on time before the blessed event.

I make a call to a man I know lives in that general area and he gives me directions back to the church.
It was the balloons.
Shoulda just stopped and looked.
Genius.

Wedding went fine.
The bride was her most beautiful.
Flower girl wasn't too cooperative, ring bearer was very aerobic, but it was nice.

Traveled on to my aunt's house and picked up my (perfect!) invitations.
They look great.
Can't wait to mail those bad boys out.

The whole road trip thing made me want to go to Texas.
Boots, when can we go back?

Homemade Yogurt

Mad scientist in the kitchen,

experimental I'll be.

Recipe I find,

adapted every time.

Disaster will be formed

out of my masterpiece.

Treat not worth eating,

the flop that ensues.

Resign myself to the box

for the taste can't be duplicated.