Friday, September 28, 2012

Somebody's Gotta Sleep On It......

Here's something I bet no one saw coming- but, first! Please sit down (if you're standing) so you don't fall down and crack your head open like a watermelon when you read these next few words.

I found a crib I Wal-Mart.

[Collective gasp from the crowd!]

I know, right? "But, Rachel, you hate Wal-Mart!" This is true. I have on more than one occasion even referred to it as Wal-Fart; however, I may give them a chance to redeem themselves on a single purchase.

You see, I've been thinking about the baby's room and cribs for a while now. I even started my own Baby Ideas ideabook on Houzz a few years ago before Boots and I even talked babies. Boots' one request is that the crib be wood, not white, which is not what I had envisioned but, I can work with it. I like wood. Something dark and nature-y. Sounds good to me.

I've been haunting a few of my favorite blogs that have babies lately to see if I can learn from them and their decisions. Imagine my surprise when I found out that John and Sherry's crib came from Wal-Mart! I thought, "If it's good enough for their baby, it's good enough for mine because I know they put waaaay more thought and research into it than I have so far."

A few clicks on the Wal-Mart website and look, I found their white crib's wood sister!

Official Wal-Mart page with crib website found here.

+Dark, New Zealand pine wood. No MDWhatever that's going to fall apart after getting slobbered on.
+No bad, scary, dangerous baby-killer chemicals.
+The sides don't move up or down. Little Houdini won't be able to escape!
+It's cheap, $200. Sounds like a winner to me.
+Mattress sold separately so I can pick out my own elsewhere.
+No bad reviews.
+Very safe according to those people that keep up with that sort of thing.

-No bad reviews. Sometimes you need to hear the other side, ya know?
-It's a Wal-Mart product.
-It's bought from Wal-Mart.
-You get it at Wal-Mart.

Decisions, decisions. I may have to make a trip down to the store myself (but not by myself!) and make sure this thing is too good to be true.

In the meantime, you can be sure I'll be checking to see if Target has a comparable product.

Wednesday, September 26, 2012

Haley's Wedding Shower

Sunday afternoon my little sister Haley had a wedding shower so I'm sharing my favorites.

We don't know what was up with the dinosaur.

My apologies to the folks to my right- I forgot to get photographic evidence that you were there! Haha!

Tuesday, September 25, 2012

15 Weeks

Yesterday was my monthly appointment with the baby doctor. I've lost a little weight even though I haven't been sick and I'm always eating because I'm always hungry. No one seemed concerned by this, they said it's normal for weight to fluctuate in the beginning. My blood pressure was normal and the baby's heartbeat was good, 154 bpm, after they chased the little bugger down and could find it. There must be some ballet or step-aerobics going on in there.

The doctor also said I'll need to take a flu shot. I'm really not excited about that, I've never had the flu or the flu shot. Why start not? Ugh......

And Happy 2nd Anniversary to my lover, my idea catcher, my man, and my baby daddy. Two years has flown by fast. Wow.

Monday, September 24, 2012

All spring and summer long I've been watching this tree for any sign of life but, there hasnt been any. Nary a leaf all year. Last Thursday I got a little bored and this tree......

became this tree!

Now to talk Boots into chopping it down and digging up the roots.

Saturday, September 22, 2012

18 Years

This was in today's paper and I couldn't resist looking it up and sharing it with you!

Friday, September 21, 2012

14 Weeks

Here's Tuesday night's belly photo, I'm looking disheveled as usual. (Dear Baby, you are in for a shock! I probably don't look like anything you've ever imagined.)

Tuesday, September 18, 2012

I Must Look Like I Know......

I'm in Target, standing in the meat section, looking at the chicken, trying to find my favorite brand of thighs because I've been dreaming about chicken and white sauce since Saturday- no, probably last Tuesday night. Or maybe even 4th of July. Anyway, chicken and white sauce, obsessed!

I pick up the pack I want (Gold'n Plump skin-on, bone-in thighs) and this girl standing next to me in the typical college girl uniform (shorts, long sleeve shirt) asks me, "Are these chicken breasts?" She's holding a pack of boneless, skinless breasts and I point to the words and tell her very nicely that they are indeed breasts.

Then, in a moment of something totally unlike me, I tell her that I like to use thighs because basically they taste the same, are hard to overcook, and are much cheaper. I even compare the prices for her. She thanks me and we part ways.

I walked away feeling like I'd just contributed something major to society, realizing something I already knew, that I like telling people what I know. Maybe I should have been a teacher. Maybe I could become a professional grocery shopper for college kids and maybe stop them from buying so much junk in boxes. And disposable paper products. That would be a great job for someone with a degree in nutrition.

Sunday, September 16, 2012

Another Dream

This one's not mine but, I wanted to write it down in case I forget it.

Boots texted me, "I dreamed that I missed the birth of our child but (brother #4) was there. I asked you why didn't you call me and you told me you forgot."

I feel terrible just thinking about how bad that would be if it really happened. How could I forget!

Friday, September 14, 2012

It's a Woman?

Night before last, I dreamed the baby was born.

I don't know how, the dream started after that with someone handing me a wrinkly baby-sized old lady complete with a mustache and goatee. I handed her off to my grandmother and aunt who wanted to know her name and Boots and I made a big production of telling them her first name but, not her middle name because we haven't decided that yet. (This part is true in real life.)

A nurse told me to get up and change her diaper so they could watch me. I was fumbly with my brand-new old lady baby and the Velcro straps. The nurse was aggravated that I used one of the hospital's diapers because apparently I was supposed to bring my own and I didn't.

It was then that I noticed the baby had pierced ears. Two holes! A diamond stud on the bottom and a gold loop above it.

"WHO PIERCED MY BABY'S EARS?" I demanded furiously. The nurse replied they did when the baby was born and they didn't care that I had requested her ears not be pierced.

In the next dream scene I'm out with my baby at an outdoor pizzeria watching the huge crowd around the kitchen where the big brick ovens were. My baby is hungry so I put her inside my shirt to feed her.

Boots and my youngest sister come back with diapers they bought and we prepare to leave since I'm still checked in at the hospital even though they let me leave and I'm not physically there. The rule is you have to stay in the hospital two days after the baby is born but, you don't have to be there the whole time.

The baby has fallen asleep inside my shirt and I can't get her out without flashing myself to everyone waiting on their pizzas so I excuse myself to the bathroom and wake up because the cat is walking on me.

Monday, September 10, 2012

Stupidphones and Pickup Fails

Back in April, my smartphone decided that things weren't working out between us and left me high and dry by turning itself into a paperweight and ran off to Timbuktu with all my lists I had saved on it. Luckily for me I knew the breakup was coming so I managed to get all of my pictures out before getting unceremoniously dumped on my behind. Ha! Take that "smart"phone! Since April I've been limping along with a little cellphone of highest technology circa 2005 in my resistance against signing another two year contract that will lock me in again with those merciless bloodsuckers that can't put up enough towers for people to talk on, much less have 8G or whatever they're up to now.

I said all that to say this, I lost all my numbers. Getting them back has been embarrassing. It's usually a text, something like this, "Hey! Congratulations on the baby!" and then I feel like an idiot when I send, "Thanks! Who is this?" Oy. Lately I've tried to play along and figure out who it is without asking but, as this morning proved, that's not working for me either. Observe.

555-mystery#: "U busy"
Me: "Nope"
555-mystery#: "When can I$$$$$" No joke, that's what it said.
Me: "What was that? The message didn't come through completely."
555-mystery#: "Yo hair done$$$"
Me: "Who is this?" (At this point I realized I had no clue who it was but knew I wasn't going to figure it out without asking. I suspected my mother had gotten tired of me whining about needing a haircut but, not getting one and was passing my number out to people she knew."
555-mystery#: "Met U AT THE STORE"
Me: "What store? I think you've got the wrong number because I don't have this number saved" (That was my poor attempt to end the convo and shake off this person.)

Didn't work. Ten seconds later my phone rang from that number. The man on the other end proceeded to ask me who I was (Well, who is this!), didn't he meet me at the store, where I lived (I am not telling you that!), what my number was (didn't you just dial it?!) and tell me I "sho sound fine," then apologized profusely after I mentioned that my husband probably wouldn't like that and hung up in quite the hurry.

The moral of this story is don't try to act like you know who you're talking to when you don't and picking up women on a wrong number call usually, ok probably never, works. Just don't.

Thursday, September 6, 2012

Look What Came in the Mail Today!

He is so enthused. Can't you tell?

Five minutes after I pulled the package out of the mail box he was wearing 'em. I didn't waste any time at all. A quick trim of the nails, a couple of force-fed treats (because this is supposed to be enjoyable, right?), and these babies were on!

These plastic nail caps were my last resort. Let me present Exhibit A.

My beloved, bedraggled wingback chair!

Bring on Exhibit B!

Ay yi yi, my couch!

This happened while we were on vacation in the mountains and Frank was home alone (Nikki was at a friend's house) too long. We learned our lesson.

More evidence......

This just hurts!

(No natural light in this dark corner; had to use the flash!)

My poor couch has really been through it the past couple of months. Even a cork board has been destroyed! We tried to alleviate the need to scratch by buying a very nice $20 scratching post but, it sits unused.

I've even tried to force him to scratch it. No dice.

He looks nice. I wanted black but, my choices were clear, pink, or blue.

I was warned this would happen. When I begged Boots to let me take that sweet baby kitten home he told me the cat was going to claw up my furniture and I knew it would but, I couldn't think of that at the time. Boots is all about declawing but, I can't bring myself to do that to him. Frank, not Boots. It's like having half of every finger chopped off and the ASPCA and Humane Society really frown on it.

Last resort. Can't tell you how many times I've thought very bad thoughts about his untimely demise. Frank, not Boots. Things like, "He's on vacation," come to mind. Permanent vacation. Name that movie.

Hopefully these things work.

He tries to pull them off but, hasn't succeeded yet. Hopefully he won't.

Tuesday, September 4, 2012

12 Weeks (or 1/3 done!)

  Today is the 12 week mark.  One more week until the first trimester is official done.  And how's this for a happy twelve weeks wish- my doctor's nurse called this afternoon to tell me that my pee test revealed a bacterial infection in my urine.  Oh, yay.  I didn't even know I was sick.  She called me in an antibiotic that I have to take three times a day for five days.  Maybe I'll be cured quickly.

  My iPad baby apps says that the kid is the size of a Key lime now.  I always wondered what the difference was between a "regular" lime and a Key lime.  A few months ago I read that a Key lime is from the Keys (duh) and smaller than a regular lime. And it probably tastes a little different too but, they're harder to find around these parts so right now I've got somewhat of a rare fruit.  Haha!

  Here's my twelve weeks photo complete with what looks like a "too many potatoes" belly.  Still looking more chubby than pregnant and my hair is particularly horsey today.  I decided not to even try and fight it since it's rained a lot the past couple of days.  And all my makeup has mostly disappeared after working all day.  Homely mama.  Dear Baby, I'm sorry- don't expect to get fashion from me.

  This baby thing still doesn't seem real some days. I'm still pretty surprised about it myself.  It probably won't seem like the real deal to me until the kid gets here.  Boots (and my sisters)  are ready for me to grow a big belly so they can rub on me like a genie.  I'm not granting any wishes though.  Unless they ask for funny looks or a swat!  Ya'll, please don't rub on me in public.  It's embarrassing!

  This one is blurry but, "I love my I'm not ready yet!" eyes.  My photographer was in a bit of a hurry.