Friday, September 14, 2012

It's a Woman?

Night before last, I dreamed the baby was born.

I don't know how, the dream started after that with someone handing me a wrinkly baby-sized old lady complete with a mustache and goatee. I handed her off to my grandmother and aunt who wanted to know her name and Boots and I made a big production of telling them her first name but, not her middle name because we haven't decided that yet. (This part is true in real life.)

A nurse told me to get up and change her diaper so they could watch me. I was fumbly with my brand-new old lady baby and the Velcro straps. The nurse was aggravated that I used one of the hospital's diapers because apparently I was supposed to bring my own and I didn't.

It was then that I noticed the baby had pierced ears. Two holes! A diamond stud on the bottom and a gold loop above it.

"WHO PIERCED MY BABY'S EARS?" I demanded furiously. The nurse replied they did when the baby was born and they didn't care that I had requested her ears not be pierced.

In the next dream scene I'm out with my baby at an outdoor pizzeria watching the huge crowd around the kitchen where the big brick ovens were. My baby is hungry so I put her inside my shirt to feed her.

Boots and my youngest sister come back with diapers they bought and we prepare to leave since I'm still checked in at the hospital even though they let me leave and I'm not physically there. The rule is you have to stay in the hospital two days after the baby is born but, you don't have to be there the whole time.

The baby has fallen asleep inside my shirt and I can't get her out without flashing myself to everyone waiting on their pizzas so I excuse myself to the bathroom and wake up because the cat is walking on me.

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