Is This It?

This time stamp is real, this is not a scheduled post.  It is 2 AM and I am awake.  Very awake.  This is unusual for me because I have a very strong desire to be asleep between the hours of 9 PM and 5 AM.

Sunday afternoon I had a little "Oh, my water might have broken" false alarm.  I had just come out of the bathroom and I thought I peed on myself even though it was more than I just peed, but the experts in my life (one husband, one mother, one aunt, two friends, and one doctor) thought maybe my water did break since I am so close to my due date and should be checked out.  After much resistance on my part (I hate hospitals and all those beeping machines seriously make me nauseous), I finally agreed to a trip to the hospital to get checked out.  After an embarrassing wheelchair ride (there was nothing wrong with my legs!) to the third floor a very nice nurse delivered the verdict- membranes still intact, not much change from Thursday's doctor's appointment.  I guess I really did pee in my own pants.  Several times.  And all day Monday.  So gross, so embarrassing.  Nobody tells you about that part in the books.  You read about the hemorrhoids and the constipastion, but nobody mentions the need to pack adult diapers in your purse!

Monday I finally felt my first contraction.  Everytime I go my nurse and my doctor ask me if I've been having any contractions and I always tell them no.  This week I can say yes.  They were kind of sporadic all afternoon, but now they're about every twenty minutes or so I think.  I haven't really been dutifully timing them yet, but I probably should.  Afterall, they are keeping me awake.  I need some concrete evidence!

I'm calling my doctor in the morning to see what he thinks.  I hope this is not another false alarm.  I was pretty bummed about Sunday night turning out like I thought it would (the girl who cried "baby!" that I was so determined not to be.  Oy!) and then Monday morning I was all emotional about having to work and live with myself peeing in my pants.  Which by the way cannot be pee.  It's not very pee-like to me.  At least not my pee, maybe some else's pee.  It could be worse I guess.  Like diarrhea.  This is really gross, hope you're not eating breakfast and reading this.

But I'm awake.  And I'm pacing like a caged animal.  (A lion?  A tiger?  I should be a fierce creature in case this is it.  Maybe I should channel the calmness of a lady bovine.  They're usually pretty chill.)  And I'm hungry.  And sleepy.

I feel like I should go give Nikki a bath because she kind of stinks and if I do have this baby within the next day or so I don't want to come home to a smelly dog.  Maybe I should vacuum.  I should definitely run the dishwasher and wash my bedsheets just because.

I went to Target this (I mean, Monday) afternoon and bought myself granny panties, yoga pants, and a robe to wear in the hospital as comfortable new mama clothes like has been suggested to me.  My bag is mostly packed, just have to grab my toothbrush and hair stuff when I'm really ready to go.  Should I be really ready to go now?  I have things to do tomorrow!  Our dang bre@astfeeding class that got cancelled on us last month that we had to be rescheduled for is tonight!  I don't want to miss it.  I need it!

So much to do......I'm not ready.  The baby's room needs curtains, the mirror isn't hung, and the door still squeaks!  Boots and I had plans for Wednesday and Thursday!  But I am ready.  I'm ready to meet this wild, little person that is going to supposedly change my life as much as Jesus.