Happy Easter!

Not Much of a Butcher, Certainly Not a Baker, Haven't Tried Candle Making

Ya'll, I am a crap baker.

Not a crap baker in the sense that I put waste in my oven, but what comes out the oven is definitely considered waste.

My Eats board on Pinterest is loaded with recipes I'd like to try.  I'm always on the lookout for something new, especially when it comes to bread. 

I want to be one of those people that makes their own bread so bad!  But I can't.

I have tried so many "anyone can make this bread!" recipes it would make you cry.  Or laugh.  You can find my flops on my Failures Pinterest board.  There's a lot.  Here's my latest.

It's supposed to be big and poofy, but instead it is sad and flat.  Kinda like my hair!

Anybody got any "this will surely work!" recipes?  Or just general bread making tips?  Like stop eating it?

13 Months

I'm about ten days late taking and posting these, but that's ok because I said so!  I've been busy.

Mayhem is a little obsessed with belly buttons.  His, mine, Boots'.  It's kinda funny, but slightly weird too.

He started walking a few days ago.

His distance is increasing with his confidence every day.

Animal crackers are a new favorite snack.

He likes taking showers.  He laughs instead of cries when the water hits him now.

He still doesn't like stuffed animals, but the Scout he got for his birthday might be growing on him.  He will poke a baby doll in the eye in a heartbeat though!

He likes looking out the windows and the door.  Going outside, even to the mailbox, is a quick fix for a bad mood.

He's getting braver about petting the cat.  He sticks his hand out and says, "Oooh!" when he touches him.

He likes explaining things.  Loudly.  And not in English.

He's so silly!  Blowing and spitting and making a stink face.  He climbs and crawls all over everything and pile drives anything he can push.

TIHSK

TIHSK = Things I Have Successfully Killed

So...have you seen that commercial about the girl that kills all the plants?  That's me, except even Miracle Gro can't help.  Seriously, I use that crap (it really is) and there is zero improvement.  I need negative numbers to describe how improved things are.  I can't even begin to count the extreme number of vegetation I have put to death.  Unlucky bamboo plants, a willow tree a family gave me after a funeral, vegetables, sooo many terrariums, and I'm working on some sort of tiny house plant I got for $free since it didn't have a price sticker on it and it was my lucky day at Lowe's last August.  I just have a black thumb!  Here's my latest victim...

Nearly three years ago, Boots and I bought and planted this grafted rose tree (peach on one side, pink on the other).  I was going through a rose phase (going through? am I out of it yet?) and even though I knew they were difficult to raise? grow? I was determined to give it a go anyway.

I really liked that rose tree and thought maybe I was going to end my kill-streak.  For a while we really had a good thing going, this rose tree and I.  I fed it banana peels and tea grounds and was religious about deadheading.  But nothing lasts forever I guess.

I've always heard you should prune your roses, but I've been too scared lazy unsure to actually do it.  This year I was feeling brave.  I read some stuff on Pinterest, because that's the Information Supah Highway these days, and even read in an actual gardening book about how to prune and hopefully not kill.  I was veeery particular with my cuts on My Precious and not so particular with this rose bush Boots and I inherited with the house, dug up, and just haphazardly planted, certain it would die.  I just hacked at this sucker.

Apparently that's just what the doctor ordered!  There's no flowers yet, but this baby took off with fresh growth and leaves, all whooohooo!  And the other one shriveled and died...  In my defense, maybe it was the frost?  I don't know!

Yesterday while we were in Lowe's picking up a new air filter we strolled through the garden center (where all the plants tried their best to play possum in hopes that I wouldn't pick them) and I selected a new replacement for the rose tree.  It's right in my front door so I couldn't just let the carcass stay there forever.

My rambunctious assistant!

A few shovel-cuts and I just ripped this sucker right out of the ground!

Practicing to be my yard man when he's taller.

I have no idea what he's saying, but this kid talks all the time.  Jibber-jabbering and pointing at everything!

Meet "Endless Summer" Hydrangea!

I wasn't sure what to buy and was actually thinking about another blessed rose bush when Boots said, "What's that?" and a light bulb went off in my head!  A quick scan of the tag-- morning sun, afternoon shade-- and I knew it would be purrrrfect!

And since I have no idea what the pH of the soil is the color will be a surprise.  If it blooms.  If it doesn't die first.

It's at this point (lucky you) that my camera battery died. 

Several hours and a charge later...  I transplanted about half of what I think are orange daylillies in hopes that they will like this new location better (more sun) and bloom more this year.  

This is the first year the irises have bloomed and I am so excited!  I can't wait!

I pulled up whatever crap that was we planted around the mailbox last August (that died) and loaded 'er up with more lillies.

And now The Survivor has a little breathing room.

Here's something else I haven't killed yet!  I have five (out of the original ten) white crepe myrtles that Meme gave me still kickin' it along the fence in the backyard.

This one I have to pet because the kudzu is determined to strangle it.

I gave everything a good watering and a quick prayer for longevity so we'll see what happens.