Monday, June 14, 2010

A Recap?

In the midst of my blogging funk/writer's block there has been a few things that are post-worthy.

Like the fact that my computer is evidently on its last leg.
Er, byte.
Space is vehhhry limited right now (and probably forever, for that matter.)

Wednesday I had a fit of creative genius that spilled over from Tuesday night.
I bought oodles of flowers (sunflowers and some weird yellow wildflowers) and floral tape (green and sticky) and went crazy in my living room while watching movies I'd long ago DVR'ed (man, I love DVR) and had yet to watch.

I could write about how Boots and I took three of his little nephews to the zoo on Thursday.
(The youngest one said, "Is that a good tiger or a bad tiger?"
:] )
Those boys are hands down the best boys in the world.
(They played in the bubble pit.
Did you even know they have bubble pits at the zoo?)
Words can't describe so I won't even try.
Anyways, those sweet boys had me all (sigh) babies until Friday night.
I'll get to that.

Oh, my exercising and working out so I won't be so fat come W-Day has completely fallen off.
I am a blob.
I hope to resume this week.
I better.

Friday, back to work after two glorious days off.
What an insane day.
We had five funerals!
I spent at least five hours straight in the sun.
Got my face and neck all red so now I have a great funeral director's tan.
(That's kinda like a farmer's tan but not because the only visible parts of a FD are their hands, face, and neck.
Plus the tops of my feet because I wear those funny shoes since I'm not a man and clodhoppers aren't exactly flattering on me.)
Got all stinky, and hot, and sweaty and smelling like a goat and stayed that way til I managed to finallyget home and take a much needed scrubbing.

Melody, my roommate calls, (we're still on Friday now, don't get lost) and she's coming home from her church's Bible School early because she has a killer headache.
Remember how a week or so ago (or maybe I forgot to mention it) I took her to the doctor for a killer headache who sent us to the hospital where the nurse called us an escort to Labor and Delivery (am I that fat?!) but would up taking us to get a cat run over her head and they said, "Oh!  Every thing's fine!"?
Obviously, everything was not fine in my fine friend's noggin.
Apparently, there's something amok.
(My, how I love my adverbs!)
(And, exclamation points!
"They" say exclamation points! make you happy! and energetic!)

Back to Friday night--the doctor delegates his team of nurses to give her at least three shots in the butt for pain, nausea, and antibiotics, respectively.
Much pain.
Much, much pain.
Especially in the head and later in the butt when she wakes up with those bruises.
I haul her home where she proceeds to puke all in the parking lot and right then and there I decide I'm not ready for midgets that resemble me and Boots to puke everywhere or even be everywhere or anywhere.
No babies.
I call my mom because I don't know who else to call at a time like this!
I need backup!
My mom comes and helps me babysit my sick friend.
I'm all nervous as a goose because I mean, "What if she throws up again?!?"
Put roommate to bed, check for breath signs every five minutes, pace floor, repeat.
Too wound up to go to bed at my usual bedtime.

Six funerals.
More sun, more redness (not exactly burning because I did this whole "it rubs the vinegar on its skin" thing to keep the sunburn away. 
It works.)
Roommate is sleeping off a bad headachey hangover all day, groggy and drugged up.
No more vomitus though, thanks.

Roommate, much better.
Dog, much worse.
The dog got a dose of petrification or something because that girl was stiff as a lawn ornament.
She would not move.
Take dog outside, bring dog inside, put dog on floor, take shower, come back 20 minutes later and observe dog in exact same position in exact same spot.
I don't get it.
I can't keep a well house.
Am I next?
Only one funeral Sunday.
Major relief.
Went to church.
Came home.

That's it.
Good enough?


Tessa said...

Sounds like you had a hectic few days. I assume that you work in a funeral home? Right? I bet you get some interesting stories there!! I like your writing. Keep it up!!

Rachel said...


Yeah, I work at a funeral home and there are plenty of stories!