I Had a Bad Day, Where is My AK?

Today has been one more bad day, let me tell you.

First off, I'm surely headed for Hell.
I am so terrible!
I went to the thrift store in search of a basket for the seed bags my mom and sister made a few days ago.
I found the perfect basket and waited in line behind a lady with a trache.

I hate traches.
I hate traches, amputations, and eye donors.
That stuff just really freaks me out.

So standing in line, avert thy eyes, avert thy eyes, stare at this huge bookcase with magazines piled on it.

Checkout lady says, "Is that all you've got baby?"
I tell her yes, she tells me I owe a quarter.

You've got to be kidding, right?

A quarter?

I don't tote change!

I don't have a quarter!

Oy, vey!

What do I do now?

Trache lady rasps (rasps, seriously.  Sounds like she swallowed a kazoo.) that she'd get it for me.
I say thank you and keep standing in line like an idiot.
Trache lady covers the hole with her finger this time and asks me am I a student, I say yes.

Why did I say yes?

I'm not a student anymore!

Mentally slaps forehead.

She tells me about her grandson being a junior at the university and I just smile.
I thank her again and leave.
I am so stupid.
Why didn't I stay and talk to her longer?
Help her carry her junk out to the car?
I can't believe I so rudely accepted a stranger's kindness.
This is why I can't have nice things!

Less than 3 hours later the JCPenney lady from the mothership calls me.
She said that they haven't even processed my last order (which I thought would be here yesterday!) because my phone number has changed from when I first opened my JCPenney credit card and they are trying to protect my identity.
I had to give her the phone number that I opened my account with and I couldn't remember it.
Geez Louise.
I lost it.
I could not hold it anymore.
I had a sobbing fit on the JCPenney lady about why couldn't I get my stinking ties because of a stupid phone number, why did I have to pay "express" shipping for something that was already four days overdue.
I guess she felt bad for me because she prodded me with the first three numbers and suddenly the curtains parted in my brain and I remembered the lady.
Bless you, lady, bless you!
She directed me to customer service so I could complete a survey on my experience (my demand, not her request) and we hung up when about half way through the options she beeped in.
She'd just spoken to her supervisor who said they would refund my $65 for "express" shipping since it was shipped very expressly and that I could expect my order tomorrow.
Thank you!
I bet that JCPenney lady wished she'd never picked up the phone and dialed a bawling maniac all over a bunch of ties!

Since then, I've felt exhausted.
Mentally wiped out and drained of all my full-steam-ahead! juices.
I can't wait to go to sleep tonight.