Dear Boots,

Today I did something I knew I shouldn't.
I was hungry, you see, and the imitation maple flavoring was calling my name.
I did something I said I would never do again-- I made pancakes!
I followed those directions to a P and the first two were awesome I tell ya.
But something went wrong and everyone after that were awful.
Boots, I promise I won't make myself pancakes again.
Next time, I'll just wait, and starve!, until you come home again.