First, I want to tell you the story about my husband, as I know him.
I want to tell "our story," the story of us and how we came to be.
I'll start at the very beginning.
I was born.
Just kidding, that's too far back!
I was eighteen years old and just graduated from a tiny high school with a tiny scholarship to a tiny college in a tiny town that would not even be on a map if not for said educationary facility.
I started school and did the school stuff.
In November that year, the school had an outdoor concert.
I went by myself and stood on the right hand side facing the stage, way in the back.
A few months ago I found out that Boots was there at the same concert, standing in the same place I was.
We were standing right beside each other, and didn't even know.
In January, I transferred to mortuary school and in March I got a job in a big town and moved closer to home.
I made friends with the secretary at the funeral home, her son was getting married to one of Boots' best girlfriends in July.
I didn't go to the wedding but, my
She thought he was cute and funny and devised a plan with her new daughter-in-law to hook us up.
A few weeks later, the wedding pictures were developed and brought to work.
"Talia's friend, Boots, is so funny.
You should meet him."
"What's he do?"
"Oh, he's a garbageman."
"He better be hot."
(I totally meant it when I said that.)
She showed me the pictures and told me how old he was.
That was it as far as I was concerned.
Hot or not, I had an age limit.
Plus, I thought a garbageman wasn't really my type.
(No offense to garbage men and all but, they do have stereotypes and stigmas that follow them around like a stench.)
But I looked him up and added him as a friend on facebook because everybody knows facebook is the way to get to know people.
I went to my aunt and uncle's farm that weekend, with Garbageman Boots still on my mind.
Believe it or not, they knew Boots, they knew his whole family!
Long ago, Boots and his family used to live in the same little town my aunt and uncle lived in, which was the same little town I went to school at.
Weird- yes, stars aligning- yes.
After a little story-telling about Boots' life story as my aunt knew it, we decided that Boots was indeed too old for a little 19 year old girl.
(If you're freaking out right now, thinking he was like 45, chill; he was 27, I was 19.
Not that bad.)
I kept him as a friend on facebook and "stalked" him for several months.
By stalked I mean I looked at his pictures and read his posts, silently without comment.
In October, I turned 20, and Talia and her husband had a Halloween party at their house.
My best galpal Melody told me I should come, Boots would be there.
Boots wasn't there when I got there, he was doing that garbageman thing.
Boots finally came to the party right before I decided to split but, he was too busy trying to stuff a high school girl in a trashcan and I was distracted by what would become a five-month long detour down Not My Best Decision.
On my way out the door, Melody said, "Boots, this is Rachel."
Melody was right, he was hot.
He was tall with light blond hair, cut military style.
My eyes were magnetized to his garbageman uniform, I'd never seen a real garbageman uniform that close before.
"Oh, hey Rachel."
And that was it, right back to trying to put the girl in the trashcan.
I decided that meeting The Distraction and Boots' evident disinterest in me was a sign.
No more wondering about whether or not this funny, hot garbageman was too old to be thinking about.
Like I said before, The Distraction was not my best decision.
He was funny and I was laughed off my feet.
Sometimes I ask myself what was I thinkin' but, I blame the whole deal on Boots.
I realize that I could have been a little more aggressive than, "Hey," when I first saw him but, Boots was there to meet me too, he could have been less involved in trying to put a lid on a girl in a trash can!
(In Boots' defense, he didn't know he was supposed to meet me at the party, maybe it is my fault.)
I dated The Distraction until the end of March, when after several failed breakup attempts I finally decided enough was enough and ended it.
And......that's Part One.
This story's too long for one post.