Dear McDonald's,

I believe you have some explaining to do.

You run these commercials and advertisements, and even have a recorded voice to push the message at the drive thru about these gosh awful, terribly, delicious frappés.
You know I love all things chocolate, coffee, and cold but, I have a terrible problem with my hips getting bigger, so I can't delight as often as I'd like.
Please tell me why, on the morning after one long, restless, paranoid night sleeping in the midst of the dead, when I decide to allow myself a breakfast treat, that you would let me down like this and stomp on my heart?
You have to understand, I was tired and grumpy and a mocha frappé would have just made. my. day.
I tried to be nice when she broke the news but, I was certainly not "loving' it."
Why didn't the girl clean the frappé machine that takes 45 minutes to clean, 45 minutes ago?
It is, after all, breakfast and prime time for coffee!

I'm upset.
Please reconcile this situation immediately by sending one jillion "free frappé" coupons post haste!

Disappointed,
Rachel

P.S. I bet Starbucks never does this.